This
is a mediation practice introduced to me by my Parent/Teen Mediation partner.
Anne experienced this workshop presented by thich nhat hanh, a Vietnamese Zen
master. In Plum Village, the Buddhist center in France, they use this process
of dealing with conflict to minimize tensions that can be created by living
together with strangers for a long period of time.
To begin anew is to look deeply and honestly at ourselves, our past actions, speech and thoughts and to create a fresh beginning within ourselves and in our relationships with others. At the practice center we practice Beginning Anew as a community every two weeks and individually as often as we like.
We practice Beginning
Anew to clear our mind and keep our practice fresh. When a difficulty arises in
our relationships with fellow practitioners and one of us feels resentment or
hurt, we know it is time to Begin Anew. The following is a description of the
four-part process of Beginning Anew as used in a formal setting. One person speaks
at a time and is not interrupted during his or her turn. The other
practitioners practice deep listening and following their breath.
1.
Flower watering - This is a chance to
share our appreciation for the other person. We may mention specific instances that
the other person said or did something that we had admired. This is an
opportunity to shine light on the other’s strengths and contributions to the
sangha and to encourage the growth of his or her positive qualities.
2.
Sharing regrets - We may mention any
unskillfulness in our actions, speech or thoughts that we have not yet had an
opportunity to apologize for.
3.
Expressing a hurt - We may share how we
felt hurt by an interaction with another practitioner, due to his or her
actions, speech or thoughts. (To express a hurt we should first water the other
person’s flower by sharing two positive qualities that we have trully observed
in him or her. Expressing a hurt is often performed one on one with another
practitioner rather than in the group setting. You may ask for a third party
that you both trust and respect to be present, if desired.)
4.
Sharing a long-term difficulty &
asking for support- At times we each have difficulties and pain arise from our
past that surface in the present. When we share an issue that we are dealing
with we can let the people around us understand us better and offer the support
that we really need.
The practice of
Beginning Anew helps us develop our kind speech and compassionate listening.
Begin Anew is a practice of recognition and appreciation of the positive
elements within our Sangha. For instance, we may notice that our roommate is
generous in sharing her insights, and another friend is caring towards plants.
Recognizing others positive traits allows us to see our own good qualities as well.
Along with these good traits, we each have areas of weakness, such as talking out of our anger or being caught in our misperceptions. When we practice “flower watering” we support the development of good qualities in each other and at the same time we help to weaken the difficulties in the other person. As in a garden, when we “water the flowers” of loving kindness and compassion in each other, we also take energy away from the weeds of anger, jealousy and misperception.
We can practice Beginning Anew everyday by expressing our appreciation for our fellow practitioners and apologizing right away when we do or say something that hurts them. We can politely let others know when we have been hurt as well. The health and happiness of the whole community depends on the harmony, peace and joy that exists between every member in the Sangha."....http://www.plumvillage.org/practice.html?start=1
Recognizing others positive traits allows us to see our own good qualities as well.
Along with these good traits, we each have areas of weakness, such as talking out of our anger or being caught in our misperceptions. When we practice “flower watering” we support the development of good qualities in each other and at the same time we help to weaken the difficulties in the other person. As in a garden, when we “water the flowers” of loving kindness and compassion in each other, we also take energy away from the weeds of anger, jealousy and misperception.
We can practice Beginning Anew everyday by expressing our appreciation for our fellow practitioners and apologizing right away when we do or say something that hurts them. We can politely let others know when we have been hurt as well. The health and happiness of the whole community depends on the harmony, peace and joy that exists between every member in the Sangha."....http://www.plumvillage.org/practice.html?start=1
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| Relax. Smile. Together we can work it out. |
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