Comox Valley Mediation: Cleaning up after each other TO violence in the relatonship

"Power exists in different contexts.... 

What people in relationship are really talking about is the division of labor in the household. Some couples resent having to clean up after the other. One may have different ideas of what clean is than the other. It's amazing but it's a very common topic. It's territoriality. It's about dominance." 

"We are reluctant to speak if it makes us look less powerful...  We don't say things when we're worried about the repercussions from our partners. When we fear our partner will leave, then we are reluctant to speak out and express grievances. We are not willing to say things are wrong if it will cause conflict. We are reluctant to express grievance if it opens old wounds.” …from Balance of Power is Key in Relationships at http://www.csulb.edu/misc/inside/archives/vol_57_no_9/f5.htm

 

       

These two wheels are taken from the internet. 

For child abuse, call the Helpline for Children, 

250-310-1234; 

for women

call Transition House 24 Hour Crisis Line 

250-338-1227; 

for police emergency call 911


Can mediation work for you? Google Symonds Mediation Associates for a free assessment. Ask how he can help you resolve your dilemma. 

Comox Valley Mediation: Heard this before? listening in mediation is so important!

In the mediation world, we always hear so much about listening. With good reason. Most of us already know what the other person thinks before the words come out of his/her mouth.  Listen to them? Well, we sort of go through the motion. And at the very best, we are patient with our talker because we can't wait to get our own comparison, analysis and concise judgement of the situation to 'really seal the deal'. And remember, mediators can be just as bad as the mediated!

We are RIGHT before the other person(s) even manifests the thoughts in their brain(s), let alone puts neural impulse into speech formation. 

Watch this you-tube. It's about old-time doctoring and it's authored by a very high tech Stanford teaching physician.  We will get a better idea about the importance of listening. Mediators can learn from this one too: it's about the listening, not the method of diagnosis. Check out on TED TALKS: 

Abraham Verghese: A doctor's touch  http://www.ted.com/talks/abraham_verghese_a_doctor_s_touch.html

Relax. Smile. Together we can work it out. 

Can mediation work for you? Google Symonds Mediation Associates for a free assessment. Ask how he can help you resolve your dilemma.